Counselling has come a very long way over the last hundred years and it takes many forms. I have taken 25 years to refine what I do as a counsellor and have drawn inspiration from a wide variety of disciplines. Throughout my time as a counsellor and mentor I have always believed that the most successful outcomes are based on my clients learning self awareness, how to manage themselves and become adaptable to dealing with a huge variety of challenges that the world serves up. Sessions should always be collaborative and be as comfortable and relaxed as possible, with a good deal of humour, even when discussing very difficult subjects. Modern mindfulness should always focus on the individual, their character and their needs. No two people are the same and so to trot out the same solutions for everyone is likely to be very ineffective. For instance, treatment for depression may have some similarities to treatments for anxiety, but many differences also. Also the treatment of one person’s depression, or anxiety should vary from the next person’s. Finding what you need and what will help you will require your counsellor to be skilled and use a whole host of the skills that they are teaching you.
My aim is that my clients look forward to their sessions and always feel that they have learned something positive. Here is a brief description of my counselling process. Of course it may well raise more questions than it answers, so please take advantage of the free Skype session, or click here to send me an email with your questions.
My Road to Personal Development Through The Process of Counselling and Mentoring.
Find a Counsellor that you feel comfortable with.
From your initial conversations, understand in clear terms what you want to change and how you wish to develop personally. Agree this with your counsellor.
Make sure your counsellor helps to prepare you by teaching you exercises and techniques to allow you to keep calm and focused whilst you are exploring difficult feelings and memories. In many cases these exercises and techniques reduce the need, or the length of therapy because you learn greater positive self awareness and understanding which helps you to face your problems more comfortably.
Make sure that you understand what is being said to you and seek clarification if you do not, either during the session, or after by email.
Take time to try out what you have learned in safe situations and use your experience and your counsellor’s feedback to make positive, sustainable changes in your life. Review your success and failures in future sessions. Both are very important.
Explore and learn the difference between how you approach stressful events, before they happen, whilst they are happening and when they are over.
Keep practising: learn more techniques and exercises to strengthen yourself emotionally, mentally and physically. Do not feel that you must have a particular number of sessions for a specified period of time. There is every reason not to rush and allow your learning to become second nature, before moving on.
Expect that you will start feeling changes very early on in your sessions. If not, question whether the counsellor is right for you.
Successful counselling will show you how to respond to situations rather than to react.
Learn to trust yourself in a wide range of social and work situations, having the confidence to be human and fail from time to time, but retain a curiosity and desire to keep learning over the rest of your life to remain mindfully ok.
If your time with a counsellor does not give you good, measurable results, the chances are that the fault lies with them and not you. Please keep trying until you find success!